BRO, WHAT DOES MOG MEAN?
MERDE editor Blythe Tokar does the looksmaxxing lord’s work by breaking down ‘mogging’ for us common internet folk.
VIA TIKTOK
Dear reader, you’ve been accepted to Mogwarts School of Profound Self-Improvement. Please submit one photo for your benchmark analysis and further research so we can determine how best to grow your potential. Lock in, begin mewing (if you weren’t already, subtract 5 points from your starting rating), and pay attention to the rizzler in charge - class is in session.
Casting directors and social media managers breathe easy (through your nose)! If this season’s models, content creators, and chads on the street have looked extra cheek-boned and chiseled this season, you’re not wrong. There’s no question we’ve all been clean girling, hair oiling, and glazed donuting our way to looking fresh out of the womb at 28, but within this quest for sluggy perfection there are men (!) that are extra committed to leveling up. These ‘looksmaxxers’ are always in pursuit of self improvement until they reach the perfect physical aesthetic; picture the groups of 2000’s era Abercrombie models all huddled together yet somehow all flexing, or any number of chronically online dudes who became obsessed with Patrick Bateman’s skincare routine. They’re side eyeing mouth breathers and keeping their tongues glued to the roof of their mouth but not with peanut butter, of their own free will, aka mewing. These looksmaxxing practices are serum drops in the mogging bucket of masculine beauty standards that are sweeping the fyp, specifically for young men.
‘Mogging’ or ‘Mogger’, a relatively new term, comes from a slang phrase, ‘AMOG’, or Alpha Man Of The Group (ugh men), and can be used to describe someone or as an action. It essentially describes when you thought you ate it up in the group pic but the person next to you is serving so hard you look like the busted filter on TikTok…we’ve all been there. Creators like Jordan Barrett, Sean O’Pry, and Kareem Shami gained massive followings as IG & TikTok’s resident looksmaxxers; pre pubescent uggos turned symmetrically snatched 20-somethings, these human embodiments of handsome squidward are so sculpted to the gods that they have people screaming AI in the comments section, meanwhile they’re just standing on tight skinned, lip fillered business. No one can compare to how their neutral canthal tilt accentuates their facial symmetry and if they try to, they’re gonna get mogged.
“They’re side eyeing mouth breathers and keeping their tongues glued to the roof of their mouth but not with peanut butter, of their own free will, aka mewing.”
VIA PINTEREST
Although some moggers are gatekeeping their secrets to symmetrical hotness, there are those like Shami who want to share their knowledge with the world; enter Mogwarts. The self proclaimed ‘School of Profound Self-Improvement’ is a shockingly real thing where headmaster Shami will analyze your facial and full body aesthetics and provide tips on how to maximize your potential (for a price, of course). This idea has been increasingly satirized online by creators like Mccoy Banner, ‘Me finally breaking my mewing streak in 2050 as I send my son off to Mogwarts’, although it’s hard to say if anyone’s enrolling IRL.
The phenomenon of relentless self improvement has existed throughout history - especially for women, so we love to see the societal weight of being pretty distributed amongst the men. It’s fascinating to see how they’re processing these newfound pressures but we can always count on the patriarchy and capitalism to make something as silly and inconsequential as self image even worse! So even if you’re dripped out in new Rick Owens or gymmaxxing 24/7, if you’re serving thin lipped realness or undefined cheekbones, beware - your neighborhood mogger might just be after you. Our advice? Grab those gua shas and extra large pieces of gum, boys! Those jawlines aren’t going to define themselves.