LET’S TALK ABOUT TIFF

Feb 14

TIFF BAIRA WILL MAKE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF.

As the trend of embracing "main character" energy and "living for the plot" continues to grow, it reminds us that everyone has their own unique story. Tiff Baira, hailing from New Orleans and now making waves in New York City, dedicates herself to helping people craft their love narratives. Her warm, southern hospitality mirrors the comforting vibes of the South, showcasing her innate ability to bring people together. As a fellow Louisiana native, engaging in conversation with Tiff felt reminiscent of those late-night calls from my Cingular days—eagerly waiting for 9 p.m. to roll around so I could dive into discussions about finding a date for the "Sweetheart" Dance or the latest school gossip. Reflecting on those times, I realize how beneficial having a figure like Tiff in my life would have been—someone to advise me to reserve those love letters for someone who shared my excitement for the dance and slow dances, or to reassure me that a first kiss behind the gym wasn't something to be embarrassed about.

Now, having moved beyond the dramas of sweetheart dances and first kisses, I find myself, at the hot age of 31 and freshly relocated to New York City from Louisiana, chatting with the baddest cupid on the BLOCK. Our Q&A resonated with my inner tween, who longed to find someone to slow dance with to Ingrid Michaelson’s “The Way I Am,” yet also knew when to let them go, empowering myself by blasting Beyoncé’s “Irreplaceable” within the same week. My journey to find the love of my life, once taking shape of me shopping at Charlotte Russe for the sweetheart dance or gumbo, then and snowball dates, has evolved, yet the essence remains—I still want to find the right person to share that perfect dance, and that perfect meal with.

Tiff wears @kkco top, @voulezvous slip dress, @wear_hothead tie

In this MERDE exclusive, Tiff shares her incredible journey toward loving herself and her own story. She shows how she helps people everywhere, including me, to see the value in ourselves. Tiff teaches me to find joy in my own story—celebrating the excitement of many dances, and living in the moment with different partners without feeling bad about it. She reminds me to embrace all that unfolds, until the moment arrives when we find our partner, or for those with our mutual Louisiana souls, someone you can bring to your people's house for grits.

MONIQUE:

Could you share how you got started, where you are now, and where you plan to go? I'm interested in hearing about your journey. I made a cosmopolitan for this.

TIFF:

I fucking love you. This is energy. Yes! Ok! To elaborate! I grew up in New Orleans. When I turned 18, I moved to New York, which marked the beginning of my journey. My aspiration was to become a musician, and I managed to perform at various nightclubs while attending college. After graduating, where I studied philosophy, I continued to pursue my career in music.

MONIQUE:

Ok music! Do, continue! Can you share more about your transition after graduating?

TIFF:

So, I graduated , and I was in this really weird in-between in my life where I felt like nothing was working. But at this time, very much dating all different types of people in Manhattan. And while it was really fun, I also was kind of lost in that trap of like, why am I looking for love in all the wrong places?
MONIQUE:

It sounds like you were trying to find your footing. How did your approach to life and dating evolve during the pandemic?

TIFF:

I was out of the club, I was dating, I was really living my best life, but at the same time, I felt like I was consistently dating the wrong people. And then when the pandemic hit, I started just sharing all my funny stories of what I've done or where to meet men, where to go out, kind of just sharing all these different aspects of myself, and then it started taking off, and I was like, okay, maybe I could turn this into something. So when my dating advice started taking off, that's when I was like, you know what? I really have a passion for helping people, you know, navigate this dating scene and feel confident while doing it. So I started doing Zoom calls, like every day, about like 20 Zooms all over the world with different people helping with dating life.

MONIQUE:

Post-pandemic, how did you continue to build on your initial success?

TIFF:

I continue to make my content, and I went on a reality TV show as a dating coach, and then after that, we launched Street Hearts about a year ago.

“I really have a passion for helping people, you know, navigate this dating scene and feel confident while doing it.”

— Tiff Baira

Tiff wears @kkco top, @voulezvous slip dress & shoes, @wear_hothead tie, Molly’s vintage bag

It's been this really amazing journey of, you know, creating this community of trying to help people become more confident while dating that led me into all these different spaces with television, and now I produce Street hearts as well.

MONIQUE:

It seems like you're passionate about changing perceptions around love. And, quite frankly, we need that. Can you expand on that?"

TIFF:

I think a lot of times before that, a lot of matchmakers, a lot of people were saying, you have to look a certain way or be a certain way– deserving of love. So I really want to be an example to people and remind them— that like truly by being who you are, you'll find someone that's attracted to you for you. And that, you know, we all deserve to find our person, but show the reality of it.

MONIQUE:

What's your main message about dating and finding love?"

TIFF:

I think the problem with dating is people are confused because no one's seen the realistic journey. It's like the movies, television— you know— like they meet in a grocery store, they fall in love after. My job is really trying to teach people how to get to happily ever after but be realistic, also teach people to be happy with themselves. I want people to fall in love with themselves first.”

MONIQUE:

For the people in the back, can you tell us more about Street Hearts?

TIFF:

Yeah, so Street Hearts is our dating show, which I produced with Fallen Media. It's all about setting up strangers in New York City on blind dates to test their compatibility. The aim was to create a diverse showcase of individuals to demonstrate that dating doesn't have to be as complicated as it often seems. Essentially, it's about two people discovering if they click. A key message we want to convey is that facing rejection is part of the dating process. It's not a personal failure; it's simply a sign of incompatibility.

MONIQUE:

We fucking LOVE fresh perspective on dating. How has the audience reacted?

TIFF:

The response has been incredible. We wanted to convey that it's okay to put yourself out there and that if things don't work out, you end up with a funny story. The show highlights the silliness and chaos of dating, yet also underscores the courage and vulnerability involved in sharing oneself. Our appearances on shows like Drew Barrymore and Tamron Hall have helped amplify our message. The growth of Street Hearts suggests that viewers are super interested in seeing the authentic process of dating and the pursuit of genuine connections.

MONIQUE:

We fucking LOVE fresh perspective on dating. How has the audience reacted? TIFF:

Tiff wears @kkco dress, @voulezvous slip dress under & shoes, @wear_hothead bows, Amy’s vintage bag

MONIQUE:

Tiff, I was going to mention this even before we met, but you probably already know this: you are truly changing so many people's lives, including my own. Specifically, my dating life in New York has been, well, challenging. Obviously, we all grew up watching prince/princess movies and witnessing the 'happily ever after.' Even on a personal note, my parents were childhood sweethearts, so I thought, "Okay… where the fuck is my prince charming?” I mean granted.. The princess in the movie didn’t want to go to explore possible sex parties, like moi, but that’s not the point.

TIFF:

*LAUGHS - I know, I feel a lot of pressure. The thing is, it's better to take your time and find someone that's really good for you rather than feel that pressure to just find anyone, you know what I mean? And I think it's really cool that you're still waiting because it's like it's better to be waiting in the hope of finding someone better than just settling for it because there's a million people that would want to date you. That's not the question. It's like, ‘who's qualified?’

MONIQUE:

So, I'm curious, did you naturally gravitate towards becoming a dating coach? It seems as if you were simply destined for this role. Reading about your journey and now hearing it firsthand, it's evident that this is something you've embraced and are evolving with. Was stepping into the role of a dating coach a natural progression for you, or was it more of a deliberate decision? Could you share a bit more about that process?

“The show highlights the silliness and chaos of dating, yet also underscores the courage and vulnerability involved in sharing oneself. ”

— Quote Source

TIFF:

"I wasn't born with the dream of being a dating coach. My dream has always been to help people be more confident. Growing up, I felt insecure because of my size. I was bullied and consistently told that I wouldn't achieve anything in life due to my appearance. I vividly remember as a kid, unable to fit into Limited Too clothing, telling my mom that I wanted to ensure no one ever felt that way again. It's deeply personal to me. Dating is about more than just fun stories; it's serious because it touches on insecurities. How we date reflects how we live our lives. Positive self-talk and self-perception shape how others view us. So, beyond finding love, my goal is for people to fall in love with themselves."

MONIQUE:

It's clear that your work extends far beyond just dating. Can you elaborate on how your journey intersects with empowering self-love?

TIFF:

Absolutely. My ultimate dream has always been to create a space where people feel proud of themselves. Initially, I thought it might be through music or some other avenue. Surprisingly, I'm not much of a phone person, but I thrive on bringing people together and fostering positivity. We need more positive online spaces where individuals can feel supported in loving themselves. Insecurities are universal; they connect us all. Even though I'm confident, I still have my own insecurities. It's been an enriching journey, growing alongside my followers, whom I affectionately call my 'TikTok baddies.' I want to nurture them, but to do that, I must care for myself. It's a mutually beneficial relationship where they uplift me, and I hope to provide the same positive affirmation in return.

MONIQUE:

Oh, CAN CONFIRM. You do! I have to say, it's truly inspiring to witness someone from our hometown shine so brightly. It's different, you know? Seeing someone from home achieve such success—it hits differently. I have to gas you up a bit because when I tell you, I'm just in awe. Following your journey from the beginning, I can really relate to your dating stories. Seeing you now, it's like there's hope.

TIFF:

New York isn't all bad. Despite the craziness, after eight years here, I've realized my story isn't just about finding the right man; it's about loving myself. It's funny, you mentioned following me for so long because I hope you've witnessed the transformation in me. I used to focus on where to meet men, but now it's more about whether these men are worthy of me."

MONIQUE:

PERIOD!

TIFF:

LAUGHS -It's been a really crazy journey but I think that's what happens when you really start to love yourself in a different way, you know?
MONIQUE:

You know, Tiff, dating in your thirties can be quite the journey. I find myself in a new city, navigating the bullshit, the messiness, the excitement of relationships. I mean, at 31, it's like... well, to be completely candid, I have a high sex drive, and it adds an interesting dynamic to the dating scene. I'm trying to build a genuine connection with someone, but it feels like they only see me as someone looking for a casual fling. It's frustrating because I'm not just about hooking up; I still want to get to know them. How do you navigate this dating landscape?

TIFF:

I understand that struggle. It's essential to remove any shame from pursuing what you want. Whether it's casual hookups or seeking a serious relationship, it's about owning your desires.
Communication is key from the start. Be clear about your intentions, but first, you have to know what you want. Take the time to reflect and define your dating goals. Being intentional and unapologetic about your needs is crucial. There's no such thing as being too needy for the right person.

MONIQUE:

Hold on, Tiff. A sermon. Could you repeat that?

TIFF:

Absolutely. There's no such thing as being too needy for the right person. They'll want to meet your needs if they're genuinely interested. Don't hesitate to communicate your desires. The right person will respect and want to fulfill them. It all starts with knowing yourself and being able to articulate your needs confidently.

MONIQUE:

Girl, I'm just... Like, what? This interview is hittin’ differently. You're reading me, which I need. To be read for filth, with love.. Not having shame for what I want. That’s huge. Yes, I enjoy hooking up, but I also want to go to dinner, get dressed up, and have that emotional connection. I shouldn’t compromise shit.

TIFF:

Absolutely. When I first started dating, I noticed guys would want to hook up but not take me out. That's not acceptable. Going on dates is about more than dinner and drinks; it's about being treated with pride and excitement. Don't settle for being someone's secret.

MONIQUE:

Honestly, I relate to that so much. In LA, it was all about hookups, and getting guys to go out to dinner felt like pulling teeth. I'm over it. I don’t want to repeat that in NY.

TIFF:

Exactly. Don't let them treat you like just anybody. You go to an Ivy League. You have IVY standards. You need to set your standards high and know your worth.Don't let them have the chance to fool you. Don't let them have the chance. Because if you think about it, right? If you're going to an Ivy, if someone doesn't have a high enough ACT/SAT score, they're just not getting in. Don’t let someone in, if they don’t reach your standards.

MONIQUE:

I’m repeating ‘Ivy standards’ only every day in the mirror by the way. Let’s start with your morning routine. So, switching gears– what's your self-care routine? Let’s start with the morning routine. The people would like to know how legends start the day!

“There’s no such thing as being too needy for the right person. They’ll want to meet your needs if they’re genuinely interested.”

— Tiff Baira

TIFF:

The major thing for me is that I do have a routine. Making space for yourself and yourself only is very important. I really think starting your mornings just with you is very real. Don't look at your phone until like 30 minutes into the day. Now, I don't always do this, but I'll tell you the perfect routine. I wake up, I meditate. I've been meditating for three years. It's just a very big thing for me to be able to hear my own thoughts, hear how I feel, and check in on myself.

MONIQUE:

And after meditation?

TIFF:

After I do that, I like to read something inspiring, whether it's an article or... I love these, like, there's this book. I'm a big fan of Jay Shetty. I love Arrow, but I'm reading this book, like, "The Power of 365" or something, where it's like these little daily readings. It's about starting your day with something positive that reminds you why you're here on Earth.

MONIQUE:

Facing negativity, especially in your line of work, as an Internet personality , must be challenging but sadly inevitable. The internet can be a nasty place. How do you deal with that?

TIFF:

It's about the choice to choose the negative or the positive. I wake up to like a million comments being like, "You fat cow pig, I hate you." But that's just part of my reality. It's, do I read them , or do I read something inspiring? No matter where you are in your life, you can choose positive, because we can't change the situation that happened to us, but we can change our perspective on how we view them.

MONIQUE:

It sounds like self-care is a big part of your life. Can you share more about that?

TIFF:

I love to start the day present, then I write in my journal a bit, just like, you know, five minutes, ten minutes, then I just start blaring music. And I typically like to do some form of movement, like a cycle class or work out, but that's a perfect day. Now, if I'm filming, a lot of times I film, so I just go straight to that. But I do always meditate and just pause because I think what's important is, when you're in your 20s, 30s, you are in this very confusing time. It's like, I'm an adult, but I also feel like a kid. It’s important to pause, and be in the moment.

MONIQUE:

How do you balance seriousness with fun in your life?

TIFF:

I don't take myself too seriously. I talk about serious things, but you don't have to be so harsh and so serious. That's why I love reminding people, and I have to remind myself too, it's not that serious. Go have fun. I'm doing all the self-care, but if you have a night out before 4 a.m. and you're hungover, and you're like, "You know what, I just want to watch trash TV," go ahead.

MONIQUE:

Again, sermon! And in terms of body positivity and self-confidence, how do you approach that?

TIFF:

The biggest thing, as the underlying tone of everything that I do and how I try to take care of myself, is to take the shame out of it, to be unapologetic about the things that I want, whether that's dating or my personal life. It's hard to talk about my journey without talking about my journey with my size and my weight and my confidence because it's been this narrative of people defining what I should be like because of how I look. I love to rebel against what people think I should be doing. It's like, no one's going to write your story for you, and if you're letting them, you're not living your full self, you're not being your authentic self.

MONIQUE:

Continuing with self-care, how does that play into your confidence in different spaces?

TIFF:

So, when I live my life with self-care and all that stuff, I don't mind if I'm the biggest person in my workout class. I don't mind if, like, a lot of people, and I think we were told this, so it's no one's fault, but it's like if you look a certain way, you can't do this. And I like to be the epitome of the opposite. I hope that helps people do the same thing. Like, wear that crazy outfit. Go to that class where everyone might not look like you. Go into that space, be in a confident body no matter what room. Because the rooms change, but you don't. And I think, just go, be your best self no matter who's in there. It's irrelevant because if they don't like you, that's their problem. And as long as you know that you're doing your best to be kind to you and everyone around you and trying to just exist, it doesn't need to have a label; it doesn't have to be defined by what other people think of you. It's all about you knowing who you are and who you want to be and not being afraid to do the things to get there.

MONIQUE: That's incredibly empowering. I've felt that, especially being in undergrad, at a prestigious institution, as an older student. It's a challenge to fit in, sometimes. You know, Tiff, in a lot of these classes that I'm at, I am the only one that looks like me, or there's only like three of us in there that look like me. So, you know, this stuff is hard. So, just walking into that room and finally getting to a point where I'm at least close to knowing that, yeah, I fucking belong here… is huge.

TIFF:

And that's, I'm thankful for sharing that. Because I know, like, in different ways, right, showing up to a date, it's not feeling like, "Oh, my God, will they like me? I don't deserve them. They're too good for me." That's what I mean. It's like how you date is how you live your life. And if you can walk through that university and be like, "I'm fucking smart as shit. I'm here. I'm smart, and I got in here for a REASON." That's the same mentality about how you date. What I'm trying to articulate is like, you're deserving no matter what space it is, but it's like starting with something as simple as a date will give you the confidence to do this in all facets of your life.

MONIQUE:

Tiff, first of all, I need you to write a fucking book! Okay, so if you could give one piece of advice to the city girls looking for their sweetheart, especially from a Southern queen's perspective, what would it be?

TIFF:

If you love you, other people will love you. And I know that's just a very simple, you know, overstatement. But I think, find the things that make you feel strong, find the things that make you proud to be who you are. And don't be afraid to be your best cheerleader. Like, I used to be shy about saying the things that I love about myself. And now, like, if I'm on a date, I'm here to share what I bring to the table. But if you don't know what you bring to the table, you can't share it. So, in New Orleans, we like to eat, we like to bring a plate. So, bring your plate, bring your energy, bring what makes you you to the table. Share it with everyone else, because once you realize who you are is something that's meant to be shared, it's something that you're proud of, think of it as a big pot of hot gumbo you worked so hard to make, and you want everyone to take a bite. Don't be afraid to bring your plate, your bowl of gumbo to the table.

MONIQUE:

A MEN! That’s a wrap! Thank you!

Interview and introduction by Monique Johnson @moniquefromthib

Talent: Tiff Baira @tiffbaira

Photography: Dylan Perlot @dylanperlot

Hair: Brooke Tokar @brooke.is.fine

Makeup: Ty Sanderson @tysandersonbeauty

Styling & Production: Molly Apple @mollyroseapple and Amy Mazius @amymazius

Set: @metahaiku @amymazius

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Molly Apple

LET’S TALK ABOUT TIFF

TIFF BAIRA WILL MAKE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF.

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